The Right Path

Well, a whopping two years have flown by, and just realizing that I've neglected this sad little blog, I decided to write something. Although I'd love to be able to wonder why I haven't made a post in the past two years, I know exactly why: Wife, mother of three girls and full-time nurse make for little free time to do what one wants. And there's a lot that I'd like to do...
I'm not sure why, but I've had a burning desire recently, for a change. Not just any change, but something massive, something life altering. Don't get me wrong, I love my little family, my little town I live in, and truly appreciate all of life's little blessings that have come my way. I just need something else. My soul is craving something else. Am I doing what I'm meant to do?
Someone recently was discussing the whole right brain/left brain thing. I for one, have always been more "right brained." Creativity was always what I enjoyed most. My favorite subjects were English, Creative Writing, Art, Photography, etc. I started out in a "right-brained" career track (photojournalism) and ended up in a "left-brained" job, nursing. I ended up where I am because I wanted job security, and feared job scarcity. I had nurse aide experience, enjoyed taking care of people, and had a mom as a nurse. I was a shoe-in.  I was afraid of following my dream and ending up having a hard time finding work. I chose what was safe.
Now, a few years down the road, I find myself overly busy, overly exhausted, and my soul depleted. Nursing is tough, often thankless, and physically exhausting. For me, I'm most happy when I'm able to do something creative, whether it be crafting something new, finding great bargains, taking some fantastic shots of my girls, gardening,  or redecorating my house. I sometimes dream of a life in the country: a rambling old victorian farmhouse, a horse, a few chickens, goats, some gardening, sewing, soap-making and simplicity. Life just doesn't always let us do what we want. But can it? Can a person really give up their 'day job' for their dream job? What's holding me back from doing what I really want to do?
Familiarity is a security blanket we wrap ourselves in every day. I think that's what keeps me from making a life altering change in my career. It's far easier to stick with what's familiar and safe, rather than to jump out into the unknown and take risks, especially when the outcome affects more than just myself.
And so,  I'm sticking with what's safe, solid, and reliable. My J.O.B. Although it has a lot to be desired, it pays the bills. It allows me to work three days a week and still be full-time. it gives me the ability to "get my crafty on" when I want and still be a mom to my three gorgeous little girls.  Is it what I need to feed my hunger? Maybe not, but for now, it's enough.

Catching up

I realized the other day, somewhat suddenly, that it had been over a YEAR since I had last written anything here, so I thought I'd better hop to it, and start typing. So much has happened so far in 2012 that there's a lot to catch everyone up on.
For starters, Nate has now been home since last June, which has been great. It's amazing how much you can manage without your other half, but nice to have him home to share in the responsibilities too!!
We also found out that we were expecting in January, with an expected due date of September 30th! This has definitely not been my most favorite pregnancy, which I'm mostly attributing to not only the excessive heat in the 100's this summer, but the acrobatics being performed by this little one, which keep me up most nights....and by the way, it's another girl!!
As for the other two, they are typical little kids, busy and rambunctious. Avery is 4 1/2 and Ainsley is now 2 1/2. Although they have their moments of bickering, they really do love each other a lot, and have great personalities full of humor and wit. It's amazing to watch them grow and change every day.
As for myself, I'm still working full time, although I'm back to working three days a week instead of five, in hopes of having more time at home. Although my intentions were initially good, I've been realizing lately how hard it is to catch up on things. In fact, I'm finding that the more children I have and the more our family grows, the busier I get, and the less I am able to find time for things. I have so many hobbies and interests that have taken a back seat to motherhood and working full time, that I am overwhelmed at how behind I am. And so, I've decided to get RE-organized, fine tune my gadgets and technologies, and get to work trying to be more efficient with the little time I have.
I've decided to try to make time for myself, time for reading, writing, crafting, and doing some photo-editing and organizing as well. Hopefully if I manage to squeak out a little time each day, or even a week for these creative outlets, I'll feel more of a sense of accomplishment, and have a bit more joy in my spirit. And, if I can catch up on my "to do" list, I'll share some of it with all of you and be able to "catch you up" a little more on life with our family...

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Industrious

Names are a funny thing, really. They're really just a label, a title, a way to differentiate ourselves from others. Growing up, my mother told me that when I was born, "Emily" wasn't a very common name, and that their second choice for me was "Sarah." Well apparently a bunch of other people thought it was a good idea too, because when we moved to Bluffton there were two other girls my age named Emily, one of which shared the same birthday too!
When I was little, I was given an embroidered bookmark with my name at the top, and below, the meaning of my name: "Industrious." I remember asking my mom what that meant, amazed that my name could have any sort of meaning at all. After she explained it to me, I remember thinking about it, wondering if it was an accurate description, and if it wasn't, whether or not I should have been named Sarah after all.
Now thirty-one, and in my adult life, I'm realizing more and more how accurate that little bookmark was. The definition of Industrious, "Hardworking, persistent, diligent; working energetically and devotedly," is quite fitting. My closest friends know that I am a "List" person: I love writing lists just so that I can enjoy the satisfaction of crossing things off as I accomplish them. Most of my lists involve various projects I hope to finish around the house. In Nate's absence, I'm finding that the list seems much longer than normal, and growing, since I'm hoping to get more projects done before he gets home. But in the spirit of being industrious, I am checking things off it.
In all reality, I think I'm just adding to my "to do" list to keep myself busy, hoping to help the time pass by more quickly. Being alone has forced me to do everything on my own (I mean, if I don't do it, who will?): I've replaced the toilet seat, painted the doors on the house, scraped and re-painted the porch swing, landscaped, replaced windows, put together a toddler bed, installed mini-blinds, curtain tie-backs, an air conditioner,  and mounted a towel hook, among other things. It's not that I couldn't normally accomplish these tasks, but at least if Nate were home, he would be the one to do them. But since he's gone, I have no other choice but to "just do it."
Soon Nate will hopefully be able to come home after almost nine months of being away. It's been a learning experience for me, one that has made me realize just how much I can handle, how much I can accomplish on my own. I doubt my name has anything to do with it, but who I am as a person does. Has my name pre-destined me to be someone who is a relentless list maker and project do-er? I'm not sure, but I do know that nine months of taking out the trash is over-rated, and I'm more than happy to give that one up again, sooner rather than later.