My Life in Letters - Dear five-year-old me

Dear five year old me,

I hope that you know how lucky you are. Well, I know you don't, because you're me, just thirty years ago, and I'm you thirty years in your future. Your life is  pretty amazing at the moment: I know, because I lived it. You are too little to appreciate it, but you have a great family and are incredibly loved! You are living in a foreign country and experiencing life like very few people get to.

You were four when you moved there, which is pretty young! Right now, mom is homeschooling you, which I know you're not appreciating, but in the future you will. You'll have faint distant memories of her being with you all the time, sewing, baking, and just being mom. You'll recall tropical rainy season days, saving dying birds, harvesting chickens, chewing buai, and gecko flicking...yes, that is a thing. In a few years you'll go to boarding school, which you'll never forget.

You'll have lots of memories. What's important is what you do with them. Every memory and experience you have there will help to shape who you become in your future. If I could give you some advice it would be this: Play hard, love hard, and dream big. Appreciate everything that you have and hold on to everything that makes you YOU. Don't settle, or lower your expectations, ever. Be the best you can be at everything you do, and do it with kindness, compassion, grace, and intelligence. Listen well to everything and everyone around you, and speak less: find the value in the times when you speak and make your words count. You have a loud voice, which dad will tell you constantly for the next 15 years...just remember that it isn't the volume of your voice, but what you say that makes you heard.

Be true to yourself and love yourself. You are pretty independent and strong-minded. You know who you are, you just have to be comfortable in your own skin. Be smart and don't ever stop reading, learning, or pursuing things that interest you. Do what you love. You are creative and interesting, and funny. Be that person always. Your future is both dark and bright at the same time. I'm not going to say that you won't have struggles or times you feel lost. I would be lying to you. People won't always like you or value you. Just know that living your life according to what other people think is a pretty miserable existence (you end up doing this in your future occasionally). Be yourself and great people will love and appreciate you as you should be.

So much time has passed since I was you, even though it feels like it was yesterday. I look back now and wish I could have locked those memories up so I wouldn't forget them all. You have so much life ahead of you, and so much to learn and experience. I  want you to always remember who you are and tell you to never take anything for granted. So go, run barefoot like you always do, play, laugh and enjoy your life. Because no matter what the future holds, life is pretty amazing.

My Life in Letters - Dear Children

Dear Children,

I'm writing to let you know that I am going on strike: that's right. I am no longer going to continuously pick your stuff up off the floor as I follow you around the house all day, before and after each meal and before bed.This includes the my daily routine of the following (to name a few): placing the footstool back in the bathroom 10 times, vacuuming three times, doing dishes 5 times, folding 3 loads of laundry, picking up pencils, placing toys in the basket, picking up food off the floor multiple times, turning the air conditioner back on 6 times, stacking books in the book basket multiple times, folding blankets 3 times, and more. You will now have to pick up your own clothes, and personal belongings off the floor (gasp!) and put away your own toys! In other words, you will follow the rules; rules we put in place a long time ago, and that we have just been too lazy to enforce. But, because your mom is tired, fried, and emotionally drained, things are going to have to change. 

I might not be homeschooling you (um, no thank you!) but if I'm going to be a stay-at-home mom, I plan to teach you something: the Golden Rule.  I plan on teaching you how to be good, responsible human beings, hopefully one day, good responsible adults. 

I want you to LOVE each other and RESPECT each other. I don't care if you LIKE each other, because I know that you won't all the time. Just work it out already! No pinching, kicking, hitting, hair pulling, biting, smacking, or shoving! And, here's something else: Yelling really only gets people's attention: it makes them hear you, not listen to you. If you really want someone to listen to you, yelling is not the way.

I really want to enjoy the summer with you. I want to take you places like the park, the pool, and the library without constant fighting and bickering. I want to have fun and make new memories with the three of you and Dad.

I'm not only going on strike because I'm worn out, but because I love you and want to you be good, happy, loving individuals. I feel the only way to help you learn this lessons, is to do a better job as your mom, and enforce the rules. Now, I'm not sure how long this strike will last. My goal is 5 days. Please bear with me, and try to do your best to help out and be good. Just remember, I'm not the maid, I'm your mom. 

Please clean your room. 

Thanks. 

Love,  Mom  

The Purge

Trash or treasure...

It's amazing the amount of things we accumulate in our lives. Over time (and after countless trips to Wal-Mart) we end up with so much junk....how much of it do we really need?

Since deciding to quit my job and stay home, I've been in full "purge" mode, going through rooms and the cupboards and/or closets in those rooms and getting rid of "stuff." If it doesn't mean anything to me, or if I haven't used it or worn it in the past 6 months, it's on its way out. After having three kids (an no immediate or future plans for more) I felt I could have started up a baby supply store on our barn...no joke. It was stifling! Seeing it every day was driving me nuts and I couldn't take it anymore. Something had to be done about it.

In all honesty, I despise having garage sales and think it's a bit weird when I go to them: walking among other people's belongings, judging, debating, wondering about their tastes ("they're selling that?") or having one myself: it's way too much work, and I really don't want to have to "counter haggle" my price on something with a fellow towns-person I may run into in the not-so-far-in-the-future, future. It's just uncomfortable!

So I had a garage sale. And, by garage sale, I mean YARD sale (as we don't have a garage), which ended up lasting not just the initial weekend, but the next week and into the following weekend! See, why move it twice? I figured that by leaving it on tables in my front yard, it would give people plenty of chances to check out the goods.....(ha ha). When it was all said and done (and a whole week of my life gone, evaporated) I made a little cash, and got rid of a bunch of things.

Even better than the meager income I made from the yard sale is the improvement in my health, both physically and mentally: my mind feels more clear, and my shins are less bruised too.  I gave up the need to do the 400M hurdles every day, and gained the increased ability to breathe: the calm that comes with a cleansing breath, so to speak. With less clutter, I feel like I can finally evaluate and appreciate what I have. I can SEE and use the things that have value and meaning to me and in my life. And deep purging may just uncover something valuable that you forgot you had! Using my grandma's silverware means more to me than the set we were using before: half of it was lost to the trash thanks our 2 yr old, I suspect.Quite frankly,  I don't see the point in having something if I'm not going to use it.

So, if you're feeling a bit stifled, suffocated, or like you're drowning in your surroundings, satisfy that urge to purge and try it for yourself. You'll feel much better, your house will look better (or, empty if you happen to take the whole thing too far) and you'll be able to focus on what matters to you most, which isn't actually tangible after all. Deciding to love your life is lovely :)

- Em

"SAHM"

Ok, so I'm a bit late on my update. I know, I was going to do it a week ago, but I got busy, sidetracked. I've had a lot to do! Choosing to be a "SAHM" (stay-at-home-mom) has been quite the adjustment! So, now it's been a whopping two weeks since I've taken an early "retirement" from my job and taken on my new roll as a full time SAHM.

I'll be honest, I'm not really fond of the SAHM title, since it makes the job sound really boring and simple, or lazy: "she's a mom that stays at home" or "she doesn't work, she stays home with her kids." Anyone who chooses to do the SAHM gig, knows that this is far from reality, and that every day is full of constant cleaning, fixing meals, laundry, tidying, pottying, diapering, tear-wiping, and running interference when the kids decide to re-enact WWF fights in your living room. 

Being with the kids on a more constant basis has also provided increased opportunities for sharing...germs that is. Now instead of being exposed to their germs for a particular set of hours in the day, I'm exposed ALL DAY LONG. Ugh, the coughing, sneezing, nose-wiping, booger smearing is atrocious! I've been cleaning, sanitizing, essential oiling, medicating, and still, I got sick in spite of it all. And I got it all: fever, cough, chills, runny nose, sore throat, and more.  My SAHM title is more like "Sick At Home Mom," which many of you know, is next to impossible. With any gain (my illness) of course comes loss. In fact, last night I lost my voice.

I'm not sure about any of you, but losing your voice is a real challenge when you have kids, especially young ones. They're always wanting something, needing something...that something usually being you, which of course requires a response. What does one do when they cannot speak? Well today I've basically been hoarsely screeching in my raspy whisper, trying to communicate as best I can. I feel like I'm yelling, just more quietly.

 It definitely affects my multitasking capabilities, as I can no longer sit in one room while they are in the other, and call to them my usual commands: "girls stop it, quit biting, stop hitting your sister, pick up your toys, throw away your trash, stop dragging the dog by his neck, and be nice!" And the girls, sensing my new state of speechless-ness, have apparently opted to pretend they aren't hearing me at all, as evidenced by today's activities which included rearranging the living room furniture while I was in the other room....geez! Of course, I can still physically complete all the necessary tasks of the day, I just can't communicate to my offspring. So, I guess I'm "half-tasking" it all. 

There really isn't a solution either, except for time. Lord knows, I've tried it all anyway: salt water gargle, throat sprays, herbal tea, etc etc. I may have to come up with a game plan however, because as moms, we know how fast things can get out of hand. One minute our house is neat and tidy, and the next thing we know, we've used the restroom and come out to find that little tazmanian devils have tornadoed their way through the house, and we're back to square one. It's kind of like the house cleaning version of Groundhog Day: clean, repeat. clean, repeat.

After throwing around several different ideas (complete family silence, sign-language, hand gestures, writing notes) I've decided on the simple yet practical whistle. It's genius really. I mean, one tweet for yes, two for maybe, and three loud distinct tweets for NO. Ridiculous, maybe. Loud and obnoxious, probably. Ear-piercing, definitely. Effective,  hopefully (keeping fingers crossed).  I mean, if it worked for Captain Von-Trapp in The Sound of Music, then I'm hoping it works for me.....at least for the next few days until I get my voice back. Now, if only I could find that whistle...