Well, a whopping two years have flown by, and just realizing that I've neglected this sad little blog, I decided to write something. Although I'd love to be able to wonder why I haven't made a post in the past two years, I know exactly why: Wife, mother of three girls and full-time nurse make for little free time to do what one wants. And there's a lot that I'd like to do...
I'm not sure why, but I've had a burning desire recently, for a change. Not just any change, but something massive, something life altering. Don't get me wrong, I love my little family, my little town I live in, and truly appreciate all of life's little blessings that have come my way. I just need something else. My soul is craving something else. Am I doing what I'm meant to do?
Someone recently was discussing the whole right brain/left brain thing. I for one, have always been more "right brained." Creativity was always what I enjoyed most. My favorite subjects were English, Creative Writing, Art, Photography, etc. I started out in a "right-brained" career track (photojournalism) and ended up in a "left-brained" job, nursing. I ended up where I am because I wanted job security, and feared job scarcity. I had nurse aide experience, enjoyed taking care of people, and had a mom as a nurse. I was a shoe-in. I was afraid of following my dream and ending up having a hard time finding work. I chose what was safe.
Now, a few years down the road, I find myself overly busy, overly exhausted, and my soul depleted. Nursing is tough, often thankless, and physically exhausting. For me, I'm most happy when I'm able to do something creative, whether it be crafting something new, finding great bargains, taking some fantastic shots of my girls, gardening, or redecorating my house. I sometimes dream of a life in the country: a rambling old victorian farmhouse, a horse, a few chickens, goats, some gardening, sewing, soap-making and simplicity. Life just doesn't always let us do what we want. But can it? Can a person really give up their 'day job' for their dream job? What's holding me back from doing what I really want to do?
Familiarity is a security blanket we wrap ourselves in every day. I think that's what keeps me from making a life altering change in my career. It's far easier to stick with what's familiar and safe, rather than to jump out into the unknown and take risks, especially when the outcome affects more than just myself.
And so, I'm sticking with what's safe, solid, and reliable. My J.O.B. Although it has a lot to be desired, it pays the bills. It allows me to work three days a week and still be full-time. it gives me the ability to "get my crafty on" when I want and still be a mom to my three gorgeous little girls. Is it what I need to feed my hunger? Maybe not, but for now, it's enough.
