Steak or Spinach?

A long time ago, one of my best friends inspired me to collect quotes (her name is Brooke) and one of my favorites resembles something like this: "What's right isn't always popular, and what's popular isn't always right." This sentiment rang very true to me recently, causing me to question exactly how far I would be willing to go to stand up for what I believe in: myself.

I recently made the decision (see The Choice) to end my 10 year employment at my job, where I am a registered nurse. Let me just start by saying that nursing is NOT what it used to be. Our increasingly egocentric and entitled society has adversely affected healthcare, by placing more value on a patient's perception of the quality of their healthcare, rather than what the medical professional caring for them, deems to be necessary. Reimbursements made to hospitals are largely based on patient satisfaction scores, and hospitals these days are all about scores, scores, scores. H no longer stands for Hospital, but rather Hilton: nurses are servants, techs are bellboys, and the doctors are the chefs, serving up whatever the patient demands from the menu of tests, workups, and medications they want. God forbid there's a dissatisfied customer: that person has the ultimate say, and chances are, when the tenant in room 10 calls the "front desk" to complain that the servant didn't do their job, forgot their warm blanket, or behaved badly, the hotel manager won't be there to defend you. 

Nurses work hard. The job is not only physically, mentally, and emotionally challenging, but stressful. A nurse has to be smart and multifaceted. He or she has to use all of their body to perform their job; not just their brain, but their heart. They have to think fast, be intelligent, anticipate the needs of the doctors, evaluate and assess the patient's complaints and physical presentation, have medication knowledge, math skills, and understanding of various disease processes, all the while exhibiting the caring and compassion they feel for their patients. The daily stress endured in a high tension job can really take it's toll on a person. Imagine having a job where you don't just do one thing, but rather fifty jobs in one. Yep, it's that intense. 

I would have to speak for most nurses, when I say that the job doesn't allow for much time to care for ourselves. We often go without lunch, or even restroom breaks, just so we can care for others. And often, it doesn't matter all that much, because we love what we do; we allow it to continue because it is "the way it is." In many of these cases, we look to our leadership to support and defend us. Because all great hospitals and institutions should care about their staff. Because sorry folks, the patient is NOT always right. Just because the popular thing to do right now in healthcare is to always defend the patient, no matter what, doesn't make it RIGHT, especially if they're wrong. We should be defending what's best for the patient, not defending the patient's perception. We should always advocate for the patient; just because the patient wants the Chef to fix them a steak when they have heart disease, doesn't mean that we should; instead, the Chef fixes them a spinach salad because it's in their best interest. (unless they're on Coumadin of course). Even though it's not popular, it's the right thing to do. 

And that's what we do; we stand up for our patients, for what we believe in. That's what most nurses want too, I would imagine, to feel that they are supported and that someone has their best interests at heart, and would stand up for them. A true leader does just that: they lead: not just in presence, but by example. If as a nurse, your management abandons you, mistreats you, or in far worst cases, tells you that they care less about your skills than your personality, and that they could train a monkey to do your job, what would you do? Would you stand up for yourself? More often than not, we as nurses endure this, but I must say that those individuals are wrong. You may want to sit down for a minute. It may come as a shock to some, but I'm going to lay it out there: a monkey would most definitely not be able to do this job.

The easy, typical thing that we all do, is deal with it, accept what's popular: tattling, unprofessional co-workers, even if it isn't right. What we should be doing is what's right, even if it isn't popular: Stand up for ourselves, and each other by supporting each other. Nursing is a wonderful profession, which lately seems to be seen as more of a toxic three-ring circus, then a respected career. So I made that choice, to stand up for what I feel is important: being valued, respected, and appreciated. I chose to quit, and spend my time where I know I have those very things, with my family at home. My sincere hope is that all of the "Hiltons" out there realize that the true secret to ultimate "customer" satisfaction (and therefore, reimbursement), is nurse satisfaction. Just like the phrase, "happy wife, happy life." "Happy nurse, fatter purse" so-to-speak. 

 I find myself comparing being a nurse to being Cinderella. The new remake has a great quote in it that I love: "Have courage and be kind." No matter what you do for a living, I hope you have courage: the strength to be true to yourself, and defend yourself, your values, and what you believe in, and to be kind: be kind not only to others, but to yourself by doing the right thing. Because "What's right isn't always popular, and what's popular isn't always right." 

The Choice

Every day we get out of bed and make an array of choices; we choose what we want to wear, what we want to eat, and what we want to do for the day. We choose.  More often than not, those choices are small, and really very insignificant. In fact, we make those choices so often, that we don't even realize we are making them!

Recently I made a decision, a rather large one, based on a choice. It was a choice I made for something greater than myself and for something significant, rather than for something mundane. I choice happiness. It probably sounds ridiculous, I know. Who doesn't want to be happy? I realized that in order to try to be happy in all aspects of my life, I had to choose to relinquish the one thing that both financially supported my family, and made me miserable at the same time, my job.

Now, I'm a registered nurse. Most people share the common misconception that nurses are paid really well for what they do. In some cases, this may be true, although I'm sure the majority of nurses out there would agree that the pay isn't always what keeps us employed, but rather the caring of others, and the feeling of appreciation that we get from the patients that we care for; the ability to make a difference.  What people don't realize, is that although rewarding in many ways, nursing is extremely stressful, especially with all of the changes in healthcare these days, where patients' opinions ultimately dictate our evaluations. Not only do you have to be intelligent, organized, bright, fast-thinking, efficient and hard-working, but you have to be all of these things everyday, while advocating for your patient and trying not to make medication errors, or other mistakes that could cost someone their life.  It hardly compares to dressing a mannequin or making a Big Mac.

Over time, specifically in my case, almost 10 years, I came to realize that the stress of this job was making me an unhappy person. As a mother of three girls, I want to cherish their childhood and be able to say that I was present in their young lives. I don't want to wake up one day and find that I missed out on their young years. I realized that so much of what I initially loved about nursing has changed: it has become more about the reimbursement and less about the patient, or the nurses for that matter. That constant stress and the increasing lack of appreciation from an ever-growing population of ungrateful system-abusing individuals, can really wear a person down.  Eventually, something had to give.

And so, it did. I gave up, or did I? I made the choice to quit my job and be free of that stress, that negativity in my life.  I gave up my job, but in turn, I chose NOT to give up on my family. What I'm gaining with this single choice is the freedom to make more choices! I am choosing to spend more time with my kids, my husband, my family. I'm choosing to be more independent, resourceful, creative, and to enjoy the simple things in life. This choice is huge, and although it may cause other stress (financial) I'm willing to endure it in order to be more present: to hug my kids more, to go for more walks, kiss more boo-boo's, read more books,  craft more, and do all of the things that feed my soul rather than my wallet.

 Sometimes we have to  make the decision to choose what's best for ourselves and our families in the long run; see what matters most and make the choice to invest in it, to enjoy it, and to live it. Do what you love, but just don't sacrifice yourself in order to do it.  Be courageous and make the decision to be happy, whatever that means to you. I did, and I can't wait to find more pleasure in the little  things, more satisfaction in the everyday, and more appreciation for the things I've taken for granted. It's never too late to make a decision and make a change in your life; choose happiness. It might just be the best choice you've ever made.