The Choice

Every day we get out of bed and make an array of choices; we choose what we want to wear, what we want to eat, and what we want to do for the day. We choose.  More often than not, those choices are small, and really very insignificant. In fact, we make those choices so often, that we don't even realize we are making them!

Recently I made a decision, a rather large one, based on a choice. It was a choice I made for something greater than myself and for something significant, rather than for something mundane. I choice happiness. It probably sounds ridiculous, I know. Who doesn't want to be happy? I realized that in order to try to be happy in all aspects of my life, I had to choose to relinquish the one thing that both financially supported my family, and made me miserable at the same time, my job.

Now, I'm a registered nurse. Most people share the common misconception that nurses are paid really well for what they do. In some cases, this may be true, although I'm sure the majority of nurses out there would agree that the pay isn't always what keeps us employed, but rather the caring of others, and the feeling of appreciation that we get from the patients that we care for; the ability to make a difference.  What people don't realize, is that although rewarding in many ways, nursing is extremely stressful, especially with all of the changes in healthcare these days, where patients' opinions ultimately dictate our evaluations. Not only do you have to be intelligent, organized, bright, fast-thinking, efficient and hard-working, but you have to be all of these things everyday, while advocating for your patient and trying not to make medication errors, or other mistakes that could cost someone their life.  It hardly compares to dressing a mannequin or making a Big Mac.

Over time, specifically in my case, almost 10 years, I came to realize that the stress of this job was making me an unhappy person. As a mother of three girls, I want to cherish their childhood and be able to say that I was present in their young lives. I don't want to wake up one day and find that I missed out on their young years. I realized that so much of what I initially loved about nursing has changed: it has become more about the reimbursement and less about the patient, or the nurses for that matter. That constant stress and the increasing lack of appreciation from an ever-growing population of ungrateful system-abusing individuals, can really wear a person down.  Eventually, something had to give.

And so, it did. I gave up, or did I? I made the choice to quit my job and be free of that stress, that negativity in my life.  I gave up my job, but in turn, I chose NOT to give up on my family. What I'm gaining with this single choice is the freedom to make more choices! I am choosing to spend more time with my kids, my husband, my family. I'm choosing to be more independent, resourceful, creative, and to enjoy the simple things in life. This choice is huge, and although it may cause other stress (financial) I'm willing to endure it in order to be more present: to hug my kids more, to go for more walks, kiss more boo-boo's, read more books,  craft more, and do all of the things that feed my soul rather than my wallet.

 Sometimes we have to  make the decision to choose what's best for ourselves and our families in the long run; see what matters most and make the choice to invest in it, to enjoy it, and to live it. Do what you love, but just don't sacrifice yourself in order to do it.  Be courageous and make the decision to be happy, whatever that means to you. I did, and I can't wait to find more pleasure in the little  things, more satisfaction in the everyday, and more appreciation for the things I've taken for granted. It's never too late to make a decision and make a change in your life; choose happiness. It might just be the best choice you've ever made.