"Full Hands"

My first born, Avery is almost three. In fact, she more often than not, seems as though she's almost three, going on ten or some other much older age. She's always saying funny things, and seems wise beyond her mere twenty-two months of age.
Being a single parent means being able to juggle absolutely everything at once. I'm like a circus clown, clumsily balancing and tossing around the responsibilities of work, childcare, church, grocery shopping, winterizing the house, getting gas, paying bills, doing the banking, getting the oil changed, and planning my juggling routine for the next day...and being the lone ranger means I dare not drop anything.
Any mom will know that having kids means constantly picking up the trail of disaster, the perpetual mess that follows them anywhere they go. I am always picking up something, just in time for another thing to hit the ground; the tidiness never lasts long, believe me. Sometimes, it's just one other thing you have to stop juggling with, and allow to drop to the ground. Otherwise, you just might exhaust yourself.
Avery often asks me for something, or to hold her in the midst of this tidying-up, to which I reply, "Avery, I can't right now, my hands are full." Being an almost-three-year-old, she tends to rephrase things, stating them in her own new way. I asked her to pick up her toys the other day only to find her shaking her head from side-to-side. Holding a few toys in her hands, she emphatically declared, "No mommy, I can't! I have FULL HANDS!"
 I stopped, realizing suddenly that she had learned this from me, had watched me, and heard me say this to her. What I really mean to say of course, is that I can't at that moment, but might in a few once I'm done with what I'm doing. I realized that I don't want to make her feel as though I don't have time for her, but that once I'm done with my juggling act, I'm all hers. At this point, hardly anyone is here to see our mess, so I'm choosing to drop the ball, so to speak, and allow the mess to be for the time being. After all, it will be there tomorrow. For now, I'll continue my precarious juggling act alone and hope to keep the rest of the balls in the air...and if I fail, if I drop a few, it's no big deal....I'll just pick them back up again, and get back to juggling another day.