Driving without Directions

Any of my close friends who know me well can attest to the fact that I am someone who is extremely loyal, anally organized, a  perfectionist, a control freak and someone who has a great sense of direction: I work hard to keep in touch, keep things in their place, do my best at everything, work hard at my job, and get where I need to go.
About a year or so ago, Nate decided that we needed a Tom Tom. I agreed although, in the back of my mind, I knew I didn't need it. I've always been someone who could find my way anywhere, noting the landmarks along the way...as long as I had driven it once, I could figure it out. I even have a road atlas, but never really use it. Who needs a Tom Tom??
Being the control freak that I am, I also hate being in the passenger seat. I enjoy driving and maintaining control over my journey, knowing I can head home when I need to. I decided to use the silly thing once after convincing myself that it might actually be useful, only to find that I was more confused than without it. Even though I KNEW the way, I found myself constantly checking it and second guessing myself and the route I was taking: I felt lost. This little electronic contraption caused me to doubt myself, to not trust in what I knew to be true. I have since refused to use it, citing irreconcilable differences.
This journey I am currently on is surely one without a road map, Tom Tom, or guiding light. There was no dress-rehearsal, no way to prepare, no itinerary provided. It's like driving blind in the dark without headlights, really. The sheer terror of not knowing what's out there is quite paralyzing. As a control freak, you can understand why this might be hard for me. I want to KNOW what to expect, what is heading my way, and how many rest-stops are along my route.
As with my Tom Tom experience, I'm realizing that I not only have to trust in myself, but to trust that things will work out. I have to let go of my obsessive need to control my circumstances, and allow myself the luxury of letting go and letting someone, or something else drive for once. This journey may be new, foreign, or even somewhat scary, but the landmarks are the same and I believe I'll get there eventually.  I'm accepting the fact that it's okay to be more of a passenger, to see more of my surroundings and appreciate the journey, rather than always driving, focusing on the road ahead, and missing out on everything there is to see. And I'm okay with that....for now.